Confession: A Catholic Torture Chamber

“Confessing our sins is not going to a psychiatrist, or to a torture chamber: it’s saying to the Lord, ‘Lord, I am a sinner.’” ~ Pope Francis 

I can remember the first time I had to go to confession. I was around 8 years old, and I was scared. I don’t think most people believe that it’s very fun to sit in a small room with a stranger (the neighborhood priest), while admitting to one’s worst moments in life. Standing in line and waiting for my turn to go in, was a lot like waiting to be executed by the firing squad. The fateful moment arrived and the kid before me stepped out of the confessional looking silent and pale. Now, it was my turn.

I stepped inside, shut the door behind me, and knelt down in front of the privacy grille that separated me from the priest. Nervously, I followed the instructions given to me beforehand.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”

“Alright, tell me your sins.”

(It’s important to note that at this point I was afraid, and believed that making up sins was my only way of surviving this mess of an experience.)

“Well Father, I was impatient with my little brother. (Uhh, duh Paul.)

And I went to 7-Eleven without asking my parents if I could go.”

“(chuckle) Anything else you need to confess?”

“Nope that’s it.”

The priest had me say an act of contrition, which is a short prayer that summarizes sorrow for having committed sin, and the desire to work on it with God, so as to not commit it again. Luckily there was a printed version of it there on the wall, so I just read that. Reciting it from memory may have meant me wetting myself, due to nervousness. The priest then gave me a small penance to carry out, which consisted of a few prayers to pray from my heart to God. And ultimately, I walked out of my first Confession, unchanged. But that was my fault, since I didn’t really repent of anything. I just lied.

My parents were really proud of me for taking such a big step in my walk with Christ and the Church, and even wanted to buy me McDonalds on the way home to celebrate. Deep down inside however, I felt bad, since I didn’t really take my first confession seriously. But really though… What kind of an 8 year old is going to refuse a Happy Meal with a toy inside?

Fast-forward several years to this current day in age, and I can say in freedom (without any pre-negotiated Happy Meal deal made):

“I love going to Confession!”

There have been a number of times where I came before the Lord burdened with shame due to my sins. I felt embarrassed to even confess out loud, in the presence of the priest, the things I had done in secret. But each time, I would leave Confession a free man, knowing that I had a tangible encounter with the Lord and His mercy communicated to me through this Sacrament. Not to mention, I’ve had so many great memories of priests being very understanding and encouraging to me even in the midst of my faults.

But this still doesn’t change the fact that there are an exhausting amount of misunderstandings about Confession from both Catholics and non-Catholics alike, which is why I’m going to address some of these concerns in a Question and Answer format. Here we go:

QUESTION 1:  Where in the Bible does it talk about Confession anyway?

ANSWER 1: In John 20:19-23, Jesus resurrects from the dead, appears in the midst of His disciples and says “Peace be with you”. For the disciples, this is comforting to hear, since they abandoned Him right before He was crucified, and since it must now mean He’s in an okay mood. Jesus does something very interesting in verse 22: He BREATHES on them. He then says “Receive the Holy Spirit, if you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven.” This is very significant because God only breathes on people twice in the entire Bible. The first time was when He breathed life into the nostrils of Adam and Eve back in Genesis, and the second time was this very instance. Jesus was literally empowering His disciples (the first ordained bishops and priests) to do what His Father had sent Him to do: forgive sins in His name (John 20:21). The Catholic Church didn’t invent Confession; Jesus did, and gave it to the Church as a gift.

QUESTION 2:  But the priest is a sinner! No sinner can forgive sins, only Jesus can. In fact, I know that priest, and he is definitely not holier than I am.

ANSWER 2:  You’re right in saying the priest is a sinner and that only Jesus can forgive sins. If you were paying attention earlier, Jesus grants the ability to forgive sins in His name. It’s not by virtue of the priest that sins can be forgiven, it’s by virtue of Christ and His undeserved gift upon the man who happens to be a priest. And that thing about him not being holy… Well you go to a doctor right? What if your doctor is less healthy than you? You still go to that doctor to be healed of ailments, correct? The same with the priest then. I don’t go to confession because I think he’s my Savior, I go because Jesus gave him the authority to absolve me of my sins. It’s God forgiving me through the priest… not the priest acting alone as if He was the Savior. And by the way, priests also go to Confession to stay accountable to God via the Church… even Pope Francis goes.

QUESTION 3:  If Jesus has saved mankind once and for all on the Cross, why do I need to repent of my sins in Confession, when I’ve already accepted Jesus as Lord? Doesn’t the Bible say that once I have acknowledged Christ as my Savior, I’m a new creation, and I’m saved?

ANSWER 3:  Confession doesn’t deny that Jesus has saved mankind once and for all on the cross, when He died. In fact, the grace of Confession flows from that act of redemption. Every time a believer goes to repent in the context of that Sacrament, he or she is celebrating what Christ did on the Cross for them. But let me take a step back… It’s about relationship.

For instance, would it seem right to you if a person “accepts Jesus into their heart as personal Lord and Savior” but during their walk with God, they lie, commit adultery, and steal… Not because they want to, but because like all sinners, they continue to struggle with a propensity to sin, till the day they die. Don’t you think it seems a bit wrong for them not to acknowledge what they did, and not to ask God for forgiveness? My point is being in a relationship with God includes being accountable for one’s actions. Jesus says in John 14:15, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” You can say with your lips that you love and accept God, but if you happen to screw up, which is inevitable for any Christian, then you need to repent… again. Remember when St. Peter had to repent and reaffirm his commitment to our Lord in John 21:17: “Peter, do you love me?” “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.” 

QUESTION 4: Why can’t I just repent of my sins in the comfort of my room, by my dang self?

ANSWER 4:  Later on in James 5:16, it becomes evident that a form of Confession is a part of the early Christian community since the verse states: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed.” So while it is important for all Christians to develop a relationship with God, where in the quiet of their room they pray and repent; God also places a value in being accountable to others in the context of the Church community. It’s a heck of a lot easier to repent in secret, than humbly doing so in front of a representative of the Church. And what purpose does that serve in the plan of God? Most likely to remind us that we are part of the Body of Christ: The Church. And both our victories, and our sins, affect the community of believers at large… Just how the performance of an athlete on the field affects the entire team.

I’m sure there are many more questions about Confession that people might have, but to be honest, it’s late at night, I’m tired, and I don’t feel like writing anymore haha. Visit the US Catholic Conference of Bishops website to learn more about the Sacrament, and more importantly, visit a nearby Church and experience for yourself, God’s merciful love in Confession. There is no sin so big, that God can’t forgive you of it, and the gravest of sins are but a drop in the ocean of His mercy. Jesus, I trust in You.